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passivevirtues
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Name: Alicia
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Orange County
Gender: Female
Interests: Board consents, stock purchase agreements, SEC calendaring, mailing envelopes, due diligence checklists.Oh yeah, and I actually like TV, films, reading (fiction, besides what I write at work), procrastinating, sleeping, astrology, fresh-air related activities, reading cooking magazines as if I will ever make the recipe, spelling w0rds with numb3r5, odd-flavored gelato, driving around to nowhere, reading reviews of interesting places on yelp.com, pretending my dog remembers who I am, figuring out what my cat is trying to tell me.
Expertise: Accounting and being boring. And beauty-product-related stuff. And I have a license to practice law, I don't know if that's really "expertise."
Occupation: Legal
Industry: Corporate
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  undrworldx
Yahoo:  alicia_lebar
Member Since:
5/5/2005
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| I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me not, you guys
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Heroin, be the death of me
Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off than dead
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' busy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds
'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know
(Velvet Underground)
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|  | Currently
Noise
By Tim Robbins, William Baldwin, William Hurt, Bridget Moynahan, Keir O'Donnell
see related |
Today when I was at my parents' house, my sister called and abruptly had to get off of the phone because my niece was having a potty training moment. I confessed to my mom that I am batshit terrified (pun intended) of potty training my kids. It seems like a daunting and horrific ordeal. I tried to find out how long it generally takes, and my mom opened up about her experiences with me. Experiences which were not really surprising.
Apparently I was a late bloomer. Well, not really. The most unique aspect of my experience, according to my mom, was that I argued with her "in a very lawyerly fashion" (Telltale Sign #1) that since I had done it correctly once, I should never have to do it again. Sort of an "I've proved myself, now what's the point?" argument. And there was no reasoning with me. For a year.
...Until the day before my first day of preschool. Yes, I had waited until the last possible moment to adopt the practice (Telltale Sign #2). Literally, the day before my first day of school (I had not been to daycare so this was basically my introduction to society), I accepted my grim fate and bit the bullet. Clearly I had the ability all along but was just putting off the inevitable until absolutely necessary.
I was also a week late in being born after giving my mom false labor pains for months.
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| Watching daytime television has inspired me with several brightsides to my situation. For example:
- At least I have no children - especially none where I'm confused as to who is the baby's daddy (Maury)
- At least I'm not being sued (any number of judge shows)
- At least my hair is real and I'm not dependent on a married man for money (Real Housewives of Atlanta)
- At least I'm not subject to an addiction, like sex, drugs, or shoplifting (Dr. Phil; Californication)
- At least I live in an age of electricity (any period film)
- At least I'm not married and finding out my husband is gay (spoiler alert - Daytrippers)
- At least a giant reptile is not attacking my fair city (Cloverfield)
Just sayin'.
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| You are an idiot. You went from this:
To this:
See, that's you in the photo, so you can't even deny it. Bad form. At least you've remedied that mistake. For now.
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| This week did not go at all well for me. I think I'm still in shock, because I'm actually taking it pretty well. There's been a ton of tears, but I know this must all be for the best. All of it. To be honest, I can't think of a day this week when something supremely shitty didn't happen, culminating with my current head cold.
I'll spare you the gory details, I'm not looking for a pity party. I would just like to make the obvious observation that going through a sucky situation really illuminates what kind of friends you really have. I'm very lucky, I have a wonderful family, including supportive parents and sisters, who live nearby and are very loving and helpful. But "friends" have come in all different flavors and varieties. This has been like draining the pool and seeing the rocks at the bottom. Types have become more clear. There have been the people who hear the news, commisserate for about three seconds, and shift attention to a mundane request of me (when the only reasonable request of me right now is "keep breathing"). There have been those who blantantly come to rubberneck at my trainwreck of a life. There have been those that clearly have good intentions, but don't really know what to do, which is still great. Most importantly, I have the kind of friends who are a rock in my storm. Wonderful people who care about me and will stand by me when times get difficult. People who have my best interests in mind, and who will metaphorically hold my hand and help guide me through the darkness. To those friends, I love you. You are the greatest, and I am so lucky to have you in my life.
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